The last few weeks I’ve been anticipating my birthday. I usually love birthday’s, espcially mine! For some reason, I felt a little differently this year. I’ll admit I don’t look my age, I don’t act my age, and I don’t feel my age. I look like I’m 20, I think I act like I’m 30, I feel like I’m 25. And then reality sets in and I’m 35.
Thirty-five. Thirty-freaking-five.
For the first time I cried about turning another year older. I don’t think it’s the actual age, but this year’s birthday seemed to be a trigger for self reflection. Taking a step back and really understanding where I’m at in life. What I’m doing with it and where I’m going.
Things seemed pretty heavy and depressing for a couple of days before my big day. I woke up with a stomach ache and the thought of my 35th gave me butterflies. (Not the good kind)
My friends asked and would tell me I have no reason to be sad or upset about turning 35. They were right. I don’t. I I have been blessed with a beautiful daughter. I have been able to experience motherhood and have loved every minute of it. I know I have so much to be thankful for.
After thoughts, pondering, and soul searching, for me, it boils down to these things:
- We live once. We have one life to create our own happiness.
- Find a career or establish a career that you love. We spend most of our life working to live. We might as well do what our hearts desire and especially find happiness in it.
- I want to find something where I can incorporate my passion and talents and use them to the fullest. I’m still searching but am more determined than ever.
- Time is precious and goes by too quickly.
- Keep those close to you closer. It’s so easy to get comfortable with those you’re around all the time. Take the time and do thoughtful things for your loved ones.
- Don’t be so careless. It seems like today’s society is teaching our peers that “oh, it’s okay” or “it doesn’t matter” attitude is okay. It’s not okay. It lessens ones character and doesn’t teach our youth or generations younger than us what it’s like to be a genuine and solid person.
- Don’t be lazy.
- Take chances.
- Learn from your mistakes and actually don’t repeat them.
- Don’t be afraid to really know yourself. Figure out who you are, what you love/hate, don’t be someone else because of culture, preer pressure, or being afraid. Stand tall and be proud.
- Don’t take things for granted.
- Don’t let the “culture” play mind games with your head. It’s okay to be 35, not be married, not have your own home yet, and not have that dream job. (Man, saying all of that sounds depressing!) But it’s okay! Those are things that I can still gain and have plenty of time to do so.
- Be happy. Sounds simple, but I’m finding it’s very hard for people to be truly happy. Especially with themselves.
I have read and re-read these things and know I could add to this list. I think everyone has those “mid-life” crisis moments and self reflection where we have to put ourselves back in check.
I am very happy to have such wonderful friends and family who really support me and love me throughout this thing called LIFE.
I enjoyed my thirty-fifth birthday. My morning was a little emotional but my the afternoon and evening I wasn’t feeling as bad as I was. My wonderful parents took me to lunch and I was able to go to dinner with some very close friends. We had great conversation, laughed all evening, and created some wonderful memories.
Cheers to turning another year older!
the koreanspice 